Complaint After Complaint

Ugh…

I should just leave it at that. Right there. Done…but I can’t. Sorry friends. People kill me. They will be the death of me. Sometimes I want to take care of myself myself. There is a lot of things that I will miss, but some things I will not miss a single percent. For example…

I was driving down the street yesterday, on my way to get a nice lunch with my girlfriend. Morale was high. Spirits were high. Then I came to a stop light and caught something out of my peripheral vision. There was a group of people walking down the street. To my recollection, there was two women and three men. On top of that, there was a stroller and one of the women was carrying an infant on her shoulder under a blanket. On this particular corner, there are a series of shops. Grocery on the left, eyeglasses and restaurant on the right. “Mike, that’s only three shops. Isn’t there supposed to be four?“ Why yes, there is. The last spot on this particular corner was a head shop. “What’s a head shop?“. Seriously? I don’t even do drugs and I think that my mom, who also doesn’t do drugs told me what it was. I think that she told me when I was young, too. How I retained that I have no idea.

So I am on the corner for the worlds longest red light and I am looking at this family thinking, “Please don’t go into that place.” and about twenty seconds later, they went in there.

What part of you would think that’s a good idea. You can take your baby to bars and it’s better. I think that it’s about the equivalent of bringing a baby to a strip club. I mean all strip clubs, guys who think that they are going to a classier strip club. Let me ask you a question. Are you eating and drinking less than 5 feet from some womans gaping vagina? Then it’s disgusting. Cover your glass when she walks over because crabs are known to jump over ten feet.

What are you going to do when you are in there? Are you going to look for bongs with friendly faces on it so the kids don’t get scared that there is a 68 year old man that still talks about Woodstock like it was yesterday and smells like tree bark and pachouli and has been wearing the same Grateful Dead shirt since the ’76 tour? If you live close enough that you can walk to the shop, than you live close enough to leave your kids at home with someone that’s a little more responsible than you and go get your rolling papers without your kids pullings pipes off the shelf.

Don’t use the word, “Man” so much and don’t bring your children to places that condone drug use. You’re a terrible parent.