Complaint After Complaint

Remember when you were in sixth grade and you had that one friend who’s mom let them drink coffee and you were jealous because of it only to realize then in seven years you realize that they weren’t that cool and that coffee isn’t that great in the long run? These people still drink coffee and you know what, good because these people are fine with me. Young kids drinking coffee, that’s no good. Give that kid some juice and tell him coffee is for adults and pretentious pricks that think that they still get “wired” from drinking that same gross cup of espresso that they have built up an immunity to.

So let’s take a trip, shall we? Let me take you to your local coffee shop. Starbucks is not your local coffee shop. Sorry, but it’s not and I am not even that sorry to be quite honest. Let’s go and get some tea and a sandwich because I love sandwiches. Wow, it sure is packed in here, I hope we get a spot. Watch that guy who looks like he’s done eating so that we can take his spot. Or that kid over there who is also just sitting there with an empty cup. Oh oh oh, that woman over there just put down her news paper, watch her! Wait a minute, no one here is actually doing anything! That kid is on the computer with no coffee or food. Those jerks are taking up a big table to study and not patron the shop. These two old birds are talking over a closed box of cupcakes for over a half an hour.

No one has the courtesy to say, “Oh, hey…you know what? There are people standing up and trying to find a spot. Maybe I’ve been here long enough reading this book and not buying a single thing. I’ll get up and leave and let these people sit down.”

You’ve got to be kidding me. If you owned a shop and people came in to read the paper and check email and study and not buy anything, you would be pissed. So stop being a dick and buy something or leave. Jesus, even homeless people know to stay outside when they don’t have any money. That’s right, you are worse to society than a homeless person. I hope that burns more than when you told your dad you were going to school for theater or dance.