Complaint After Complaint

Remember back when we were all kids and we used to get all excited about Halloween? You know, back before were were all jaded and cynical and hated holidays and religion and society. We used to love going in July to get our costume, whether it be a rock star, superman, spiderman, indian, skeleton, ghost, or whatever you could get your hands on. You would rip the pillow case right off your pillow because you knew that you were going to get more than last year. Little did you know that you would only get 1/17th of that pillow case.

So being a whore isn’t an outfit. Sorry, but it’s not. What do you tell people you are when they ask? It’s either someone that wants to get fondled or a prostitute. I suppose either way it’s happening but you’ve had too many candy corn and vodka’s to remember the guy in the horse costumes name to call the cops and report him for raping you.

Bunny ears is not a costume. It’s part. It’s closer. It’s not a costume. You could add a tail and be a Playboy bunny. That would be a costume, but with just ears, you are a person that couldn’t afford a real costume and isn’t really too original.

Finally, no costume should mean that you shouldn’t get candy. That’s right, brats. Honestly, steal some of your mom or sisters makeup and get to work on a skeleton or zombie. Your sister wears too much makeup anyhow so you stealing a little bit of it might finally get her the attention that she deserves. I saw kids a ton this year in a group of what felt like a thousand that didn’t have costumes on. If you don’t have a costume it’s basically just a hold up for candy. You don’t have any business being there since you aren’t participating in the only rule there is.

Get a costume. It could potentially cost less than $10 for me not to hate you. Hate is a strong word but if you already don’t participate in fun activities at the age of 11, you are going to be a real piece of shit when you grow up.