Complaint After Complaint

Oh man. I hate that it’s come to this. Restaurants are pre-mixing our food for us again. I know that this isn’t new. KFC has made this dish before and it irritated me before, but it’s back and time to let ‘em have it. Now don’t get me wrong. During Thanksgiving I love to mix my corn with my mashed potatoes and put some gravy on it, but for a fast food restaurant to just slap everything on the menu is just an illustration of how fat we have become. People aren’t even picky with their food anymore. There are two ways to order this.

1. I am just going to order everything on the menu and mix it up and eat it.
2. Put everything that you’ve got back there into a bowl.

Seriously. Get some taste for food and eat that. You are like one step away from eating out of a trough.

Ok I know that streetwear isn’t everyone’s top priority, but its what I do for a living. Trends come and go while the rest of America (i.e. Basically anywhere that is not a legitimate city) takes and extra 4 years to catch up. At this point, I have to say that the only thing more annoying than a whole collection of all-over print t-shirts and hoodies is the use of cartoon media icons on clothing. Disney, The Muppets… whatever. Do you know i actually had to look at an all-over print Gargamel hoodie today? Yes, the old creepy bald guy from the Smurfs. Fucking Gargamel!? When did streetwear heads turn into a bunch pedos? “Hey little Jimmy, do you like cartoons and windowless vans?”. Creepy right? Well so is your fucking Alife Cookie Monster t-shirt. What are you 8? The fashion design industry must be as tapped for ideas as Hollywood these days. Maybe this is just the end result of years and years of Ritalin.

In closing, all you assholes look like clowns. I talked to Pharrell and he said its ok for you to get a fucking job now .

Ugh. Are your parents so bad that you can’t talk to them? I asked a few people and they didn’t have a problem, but this is my site and I have a problem with it. I hate seeing kids, mostly teens, in cars with their parents (or guardians) listening to headphones. I grew up listening to my talk radio with my dad. It was terrible. Turns out that when I am in the car, on my way to work that’s all that I listen to. Irony. Anyhow, kids are sitting the front seat listening to headphones totally tuning out the people that they are driving them places…probably the mall…to buy choker necklaces. Is it so hard to ride for a couple minutes with people that you can turn the Blink182 in your headphones and talk to your parents. They could have some important information for you. Like, for example, how disrespectful it is to ride in the car with headphones on.

Stop it. You look like an idiot. Flip Flops are one thing. Black Adidas sandals are one thing. Socks and sandals are a totally other thing. You are wearing styrofoam shoes. Buy yourself a pair of real shoes and cut the crap. But wait…we’re not through, because now you can buy charms to put in the little vent holes. So great, you’ve got a pair of Crocs and they have a little pig charm. For every charm you kill me that much faster.

Now, I think we can all agree that smoking near other human beings at all is pretty seriously gross, but can you try to make it a little less unpleasant for nonsmokers by maybe not standing DIRECTLY outside of the door of a building where there is heavy foot traffic? When people are walking out the door, loudly gagging, and shooting you the evil eye, that’s a sign that having no choice but to pass through your smoke cloud to get some fresh air is absolutely ridiculous. How inconsiderate can you possibly be? It’s not your right as a smoker to stand wherever you please just because you’ve followed the rules to be outside. We’re not talking about a matter of personal preference here, this is something that is literally killing you, so arguing in favor of it makes you look stupid regardless of what your point may be. While we’re at it, do you think it’s okay to light your cigarette in the building and then walk out, just because it’s easier to light the damn thing when shielded from the wind? In case no one ever told you, the fact that you have to smoke your cigarette outside does indeed mean you need to light it there too. Besides, I am pretty sure there are laws against smoking directly outside of doorways. Have a little consideration for those of us who opt for less gross lifestyles. Just because you want to smell badly, age faster, and die of emphysema doesn’t mean you need to be angry at the world and inflict it on anyone coming to and from the same location. Seriously.

Oh come on now? Take a look at that image and tell me that not a single ounce of you wants to either slash the tires or key some derogatory comment into the side. This happens all the time. There is more than enough room to park two cars in that spot. There is more than enough room to park two Hummers. No, not the H3’s or even the H2’s. I am talking Army style. Arnold style. Personally, I think that they should give tickets for that. I mean, if I get a ticket for parking legitimately 15 minutes past the time that I have to move, this guy should get a ticket for taking up “golden” legal parking space. Goddamnit…just look at that picture again and comment about this a-hole for me. I don’t even know what to say anymore.

Maybe I just don’t get it, but I’m really tired of going to “art” shows and seeing nude photos of girls in their 20’s, usually doing something silly, like having a pillow fight or wrestling with other equally as naked girls. I don’t care if you do something ironic or thought-provoking like photoshop a monacle on her eye and a book in her hand. It is still probably garbage. I’m not saying there is no place for nudity in art, but if your photos look like something someone would get a boner over, which they do, then sell them as porn and stop trying to act like you’re an artist.

You know what? It isn’t funny. I don’t want to listen to Steely Dan while i wait for you to answer your phone. You aren’t doing me a service friend. I’m not calling to get an insurance quote or make an appointment to get my teeth cleaned so cut the fucking shit.

How many times have you had some asshole (or handful of assholes) casually walk in front of your car while you are driving along at 30+ mph? No, seriously though, i understand. It must be really important for you to get across the street at that exact moment. Allow me to brake my gazillion tons of steel to a complete stop to best ensure that you, a rude, self-centered piece of garbage, can safely make it to the other side. I’m not even talking about the jerks that just run out in front of you. I’m talking about the ones that KNOW they don’t have time to make it across, physically make eye contact with you, and take their sweet time swaggering across the street, perhaps talking on their cell phone. If I had it in me I would just floor it. But I don’t, so…just go to hell.

Is this so hard to figure out? I can’t remember the exact year of elementary school that this was pounded into my brain along with the two different spellings and uses of you’re/your, but I know that I immediately think less of someone when i notice they are making such inexcusable elementary errors. No lie, you have to be stupid to not understand the differences, and you have to be even dumber still to try to shrug it off by claiming “it doesn’t matter.” While we’re at it, the term “no one” is actually two separate words. What about “noone” looks correct to you? That’s right, nothing. Also, “a lot” is two separate words unless you’re talking about the verb “to allot.” Think about what you’re saying, there is A LOT of something. This is basic common sense and if you can’t grasp it then i really hope you never claim to be intelligent, because you’re not.