Complaint After Complaint

Seriously? You’ve got to be kidding me. I don’t know how this situation is in your parts, but in mine, it is absolute garbage.

My girlfriend took a trip to Mexico to hopefully get me a sugar skull that says “Hank” or “Dean” and eat pounds of sushi in a country known for tacos. Nonetheless, you’ve got a decision when you get to the airport. This decision is as follows:
1. Park in “Short Term Parking”
2. Park in “Long Term Parking”
Since I was just dropping her off, helping her get her luggage in, and then leaving, I figured I would be there for a half an hour so I would park in Short Term. So I did. Fifteen minutes later I was back in my car, windows down, music up, approaching the exit gate. I get out my ticket that says I have been parked for sixteen minutes and say to myself, “Duder, you did a good job. You got in and out and it’s been shorter than you thought. You just put that ticket in the machine, and head home and go back to bed.” so I did…only to find out that it’s $4 to park in Short Term parking. I know that $4 isn’t a lot of money, but it’s the principle. What hurt even more is the fact that if I had parked in Long Term, I could have stayed for two hours before I would have had to pay a single cent.

Now I know for a fact that it used to be free for the first thirty minutes in short term, so why would they change it? Secondly, why would you park in Long Term parking if you are only dropping someone off. That just makes you a jerk that’s taking up valuable parking spots in the Long Term lot. Parking is not a pleasurable experience anywhere, as you should know by now, but seriously, why would you even name the two what you have named them if you are going to reward people for getting in and out as soon as possible for parking in a lot specifically named for it’s use of “Long Term Parkers”?

The naming committee should be fired and that short term lot should just be destroyed in the most gratuitous way possible since it proves to have no advantage over the other lot.

Ok, I don’t like kids. At least not other peoples. They’re usually rude. They don’t say anything when you say “What’s up?” to them. They smell sometimes and most of the ones I see don’t seem to wear pants.

But I really hate it when mothers bring their enormous baby strollers on the bus and someone has to help them get it on the bus…and then off the bus. It never fits right in the aisle. Everyone is really uncomfortably squashed all the sudden and you have to plan a completely new exit route off the bus if godforbid you’re behind the stroller. Then there is the actual baby inside which sometimes is cute and distracts you from your current situation. Most of the time it’s annoying and eating, getting crumbs everywhere and you wonder why it’s allowed to eat Doritos at 7am. Then you think about child obesity and how it’s a huge problem in the world and how we’re all going to hell in a hand basket.

Stop it. You made a bad decision. I can just imagine what you were thinking. “Yeah, you know what? I want to drive a car that looks like a new penny.” I just hope that one day the cars look like what the Statue of Liberty looks like now.

NOTE: I know that these cars aren’t made of REAL copper, but whether you call it “Solar Orange”, “Fusion Orange Metallic”, or “Autumn Copper” you still look like an asshole.

How many times have you had some asshole (or handful of assholes) casually walk in front of your car while you are driving along at 30+ mph? No, seriously though, i understand. It must be really important for you to get across the street at that exact moment. Allow me to brake my gazillion tons of steel to a complete stop to best ensure that you, a rude, self-centered piece of garbage, can safely make it to the other side. I’m not even talking about the jerks that just run out in front of you. I’m talking about the ones that KNOW they don’t have time to make it across, physically make eye contact with you, and take their sweet time swaggering across the street, perhaps talking on their cell phone. If I had it in me I would just floor it. But I don’t, so…just go to hell.

Stop it. For the love of God. You look ridiculous. I wish you could see yourself, peddling one thousand times to get the wheel to go around twice. It’s great for uphills so you can calm down a little bit, but for downhill or even straight driving you look like an idiot. It’s additionally stupid for people that are trying to work out as there is zero resistance and you are just wearing yourself out.

You can drive faster than 3 miles per hour to make a turn. I don’t care if you are turning left or right, but there are people behind you. Step on the gas you old bastard.