Complaint After Complaint

Remember when you were 8 and loved to drink tons of pop. Every meal you had a glass or two, in school you had some more, and every Happy Meal you would have a cheeseburger, fries, and some sort of cola. Your mom wised up. She talked to the other moms and it turns out that all their kids were hyper. No more pop for you. You’ll rot your teeth. It’s not good for you. We’ve heard them all.

The time has come. Technology has worked in your favor. You now have Diet Coke Plus.

“Diet Coke Plus is a new formulation of Diet Coke fortified with vitamins and minerals.”

It’s still sugary cola that might have less calories, but still has Splenda in it so say goodbye to your health all the same. Great, you can now supplement a vegetables for a bottle of pop. You’ve been fooled by a bottle of $1.39 bottle of pop. Kiss your teeth goodbye and don’t forget to tip your dentist.

Everywhere I go places are cutting corners…and in all the wrong places, I must add. Buy less pens, stop buying pencils all together, layoffs, etc. These are all things that should happen first, but when it comes to comfort and morale, you can’t beat the solitude of being alone in the bathroom. This entire scenario takes a turn for the worst when you look down to find what they expect you to “clean up shop” with. It’s rough and there just isn’t that distance that I feel is necessary when your hand is that close to a wicked BM. Plus, that walk back to wherever you are going once you use it is rough because you always feel that you did a sub-par job in the clean up department. We are like one step away from just putting old reams of paper in there. Crapping outside and using leaves might be a better solution than one-ply.