Complaint After Complaint

Oh ha ha, I know. Another fast food complaint from Mike. But here’s the thing, I don’t often eat fast food but is it too much to ask for that they get my order right? I’m not one of those people that asks for more of this, less of that, extra this, with a side of this but ordering something straight off the menu as is should be the easiest possible thing to get correct. But no. Out of the last half dozen times I’ve gone to Burger King, that they have gotten my order wrong four times . No pie twice , no tomatoes once, and the worst of all was forgetting my French fries and if anybody knows me they know not to mess with my French fries. So what we do ? I know that the obvious answer would be to get a more competent customer service staff but what happens to the people that are the work at your local fast food restaurant? Do we ship them off to somewhere with even less of a learning curve ? I have worked in food service for many years and I understand what it is to get an order wrong but if I go and get my order wrong consistently, I know for fact that there are hundreds of orders that are going out incorrect and guess what, I’m not made of money. So when I go and I place an order , I expect it to be right and I don’t think that that’s a far fetched demand since that is what your job entails . I’ve tried to give you the benefit of the doubt multiple times but you keep screwing me . I had Wendy’s on a three year boycott because not only did they always get my order wrong but I got ridiculously sick and decided that I was no longer going to frequent their fine establishment. I have since lifted that boycott, but I believe I will lower it right down on Burger King . That is a very difficult thing for me to do since I love Whoppers and their French fries are also pretty good .

So here we are in the 21st century and you drive up to a fast food restaurant and you place your order and get it pleasantly display it to you on a monitor so that you can see what you’re going to get. No onions, extra tomatoes, large Sprite , small fry , and a cheeseburger . You pay the woman with exceptionally large fingernails and she hands you a bag or two of your meal. There is no need to check the bags since not only did they read your order back to you but it was printed on that screen and you have paid for the food that was printed on that screen and read back to you. So when I get home to discover that there is spaghetti mixed with a sprite and a hamburger with bacon and orange slices on it, I get tremendously irritated that I just blew money on a meal that sucks .

In closing, pay more attention . I know that you work at McDonald’s or Burger King or Sonics or White Castle , but you’re on the fast track to getting your ass canned because you can’t put out a correct order . And don’t ever forget my French fries again or I may kill you .

I can not believe that this is still happening. It never looked good. It was never acceptible and never once did I think to myself, “You know Mike, I think that I am going to let this collar stay up.” I mean come on, you know that it happened one day when some lazy a-hole decided to just leave them up. They come up all the time. Use more starch to keep them down. Remember wearing a collared shirt and having a friend or co-worker say, “Oh hey, buddy. You’re collar is up.” and you would say, “Thanks” and then put it down? That’s the way that it should still be. Not something disastrous like in this following made up scenario.

“Hey man, you’re collar’s up.” to which you respond with, “Oh I know. And I like it.”

You’re f’n fired, brother. Now you’ve got your girlfriend poppin’ that collar? I don’t know what’s worse. Probably still the guy because female fashion changes so frequently that next week no self-respecting woman will have one because it will be such a faux pas that you will be excommunicated from the female race if you do. It’s that harsh. What a harsh world we live in.

God bless T-Shirts and Jeans. I am always, at most, moderately in style.

This upsets me every time I go and I have now beat it by ignoring it. Here’s the situation. You want a quick meal and you don’t have time to go inside so you have to go through the drive though. You get to the speaker and a lovely voice says, “Welcome to Burger King, how may I help you?”. You instinctively tell them what you want…only to find that it’s not a real person. It’s a recording to keep you busy until the person that is alive and employed comes to the speaker. So by then, I have already placed half an order and then I have to repeat myself…I hate repeating myself. So no, I have outsmarted them by not answering the initial message. It’s a simple solution to a problem that never should have existed. Goddammit I hate that voice. Why is it even there? Who thought that it was necessary? Who said, “You know what, let’s have a voice that talks to people that doesn’t listen and then, 10 seconds later, have a real person ask you the same question after you’ve placed an order. That’s a good idea. I am a genius. I am going to go get one of my perk blowjobs that my high paid position offers me as a benefit. God I hate my wife.”

PS: I love your Whoppers.

Stop it. You made a bad decision. I can just imagine what you were thinking. “Yeah, you know what? I want to drive a car that looks like a new penny.” I just hope that one day the cars look like what the Statue of Liberty looks like now.

NOTE: I know that these cars aren’t made of REAL copper, but whether you call it “Solar Orange”, “Fusion Orange Metallic”, or “Autumn Copper” you still look like an asshole.

Oh my gosh. We live in an era of efficiency and some places still don’t get it. We as people understand pricing. If something is $2, then we assume that two of that same item would be $4. Unless you are at the flea market or somewhere like India where you can haggle prices, this is the way that it is. I have gone to several restaurants and this has been shoved in my face to the most extreme extent. Aside from the image that you see here, I have gone to a pizza place around the corner from me with this sign:

1 Slice : $02.00
2 Slices : $04.00
3 Slices : $06.00
4 Slices : $08.00
5 Slices : $10.00
6 Slices : $12.00
7 Slices : $14.00
8 Slices : $16.00

They even had the zero in front of the price and that bothered me. We’re not computers. I guess what I am saying is that a sign marked “$2 a slice” would suffice. The image, if you will take a look, says that all 7” subs are $4.99 and all 14” subs are $6.99, but not in the “common sense” way. No. They have every sub offered and it’s accompanying price for every one. It’s just irritating.

Cut the crap, and sum up your signs. More people will buy from you.

Sometimes I get tired. It’s late and I have to move my car and I don’t really feel like putting pants on because I am ready for bed. I grumble for about 30 seconds and decide to just suck it up, put pants on, and then move the car.

I absolutely hate it when people don’t “suck it up” like I illustrated above and wear sleep pants outside. It’s 2:30 in the afternoon and I am out and people are walking around in pajama bottoms and some ragged old T-shirt sixteen sizes bigger than they should be wearing. I find that girls do this more than guys, but when guys do it I think that it’s worse because they go the whole nine yards and wear sweatpants, sandals and socks, don’t shave, and some Champion T-Shirt that belonged to a man that weighed no less than 300lbs.

So why is it that I put forth the effort to wear decent clothing and everyone else just feels the need the “slum it”. That’s not right. Just shut up and put on some pants. It’s not that hard. I am sure since you are already dressed like a piece of garbage that your room is a mess and when reaching for your trusty ol’ flannels, you can move your hand a few inches in either direction and find some jeans on your messy floor.

Jeans are cheap. Get to it and stop looking like a dumpy bitch all the time.

Everywhere I go places are cutting corners…and in all the wrong places, I must add. Buy less pens, stop buying pencils all together, layoffs, etc. These are all things that should happen first, but when it comes to comfort and morale, you can’t beat the solitude of being alone in the bathroom. This entire scenario takes a turn for the worst when you look down to find what they expect you to “clean up shop” with. It’s rough and there just isn’t that distance that I feel is necessary when your hand is that close to a wicked BM. Plus, that walk back to wherever you are going once you use it is rough because you always feel that you did a sub-par job in the clean up department. We are like one step away from just putting old reams of paper in there. Crapping outside and using leaves might be a better solution than one-ply.

Really? Are you going to forget? I forget peoples names all the time. I meet them and forget it instantly. I meet people, don’t see them for a few years or months and forget it. I still know mine. I am assuming that you know yours. How else would you put your signature on checks or sign your emails label things in the fridge at work so your dick co-workers don’t take your sandwiches? So why would you put it on your own body permanently. I mean, do you really like it that much? My name is Mike and I don’t mind it one bit but I am not so proud of it that I would get it on me. Maybe not proud is the wrong word. Stupid. There it is. That’s the word. People that see you pumping gas with your stupid name tattooed on yourself don’t care about your name and neither do I.

Really? That’s the decision that you made. I think that Todd Barry said it best by saying, “You forgot to not do that.” It’s almost never a decent tattoo and it can’t be covered up unless you want to wear a turtleneck or if you’re even dumber that I think and you wear a mock-turtleneck. It’s great that you love your mom, but that’s what the forearm is for. I guarantee that your ma’s would like it more if you got it on your arm or even a chest piece would be better than a friggin’ neck tattoo. Your mom would probably just like it better if your dumb ass sent a card. Don’t forget about your moms birthday. That’s something you might regret more than your stupid new tattoo.

Oh man. I hate that it’s come to this. Restaurants are pre-mixing our food for us again. I know that this isn’t new. KFC has made this dish before and it irritated me before, but it’s back and time to let ‘em have it. Now don’t get me wrong. During Thanksgiving I love to mix my corn with my mashed potatoes and put some gravy on it, but for a fast food restaurant to just slap everything on the menu is just an illustration of how fat we have become. People aren’t even picky with their food anymore. There are two ways to order this.

1. I am just going to order everything on the menu and mix it up and eat it.
2. Put everything that you’ve got back there into a bowl.

Seriously. Get some taste for food and eat that. You are like one step away from eating out of a trough.